"I physically cannot draw this guy any more" - the drawfag

Real Name

Bartholomew J. Speedlemyer




Sageworthy Society





Sageworthy Trait

Everything that is terrible about "original, the character"

A core member of the Sageworthy Society. Try not to look directly at it.


Bartholomew J. Speedlemyer grew up in an ordinary home in an ordinary suburban town and overall lived a happy life.

But he didn't like that and worse, he thought he could draw. So he joined Deviant Art, to say he was slow consumed by the Drama faggotry wouldn't be right, he was swallowed whole in the first five minutes.

He'd whine when he'd get pageviews and favorites, he'd pretend to be a dark and edgy social outcast. Slowly Speedlemyer disappeared and became the living embodiment of all the drama and fail that make Deviant Art shit, thus taking form of a mary sue self insert last-of-his-kind demon-vampire-ninja-pirate prince fox furry with angst issues.

But because of this he vanished from our reality and was sealed on the Internet until INTERNET HATE MACHINE used his powers to give him a form to terrorize both Cyberspace and conventional space.

Currently dating euqally idiotic The Penguin of DOOM.


He has the power to gain other powers based solely on what he thinks would be cool.

The only superhero who is able to contend with him is Sanguianna who can out mary sue him.


The Penguin of DOOMEdit


The Penguin of DOOM heromachine concept

The character originates from a 2006 copypasta, there are different variants for different boards and you can google it if you want to know more about that. This is apparently the /co/ version from around 2008.

She's either DeviantBart's tupla or he's her tupla. We'll never be able to know for sure who was really imagined by whom.


Raven Harmony Blackhood Ebony Darkness was a normal girl who was very mature for her age, but her self-diagnosed ADD made her very random. She would constantly shout out words at random and giggle to herself, irritating everyone around her. Eventually she found herself friendless and alone, with nothing but her Invader Zim DVDs and J-Pop music to comfort her. She would do nothing but surf the internet constantly, chatting with goths, emos, and people claiming to be vampires and witches.

One poster took special interest in her, and they organized a meeting time and place. It turns out that the person visiting her was none other than Dr. Science. He found her absurd behavior perfect for a new reality-altering formula he was developing, and she made an ideal test subject. Thus, she became the Penguin of DOOM. The first time she used her reality-altering powers, her blue monkey Spork came into existence. She further used her powers to grow black wings and a tail. While her personality didn't change in the slightest, her powers made her a force to be reckoned with.

A misguided youth to be sure, the Sageworthy Society convinced Raven that they were the good guys and that the Justice /co/mrades were the bad guys. Originally, the Justice /co/mrades tried to convince her the opposite was true, but found her simply too irritating to put up with. Currently dating equally idiotic DeviantBart.

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