Heartbreaker (sometimes Heart Breaker)
Cheaters beware, he'll FUCKING MURDER YOU.
James Hartt, businessman, golden god, and loving boyfriend. James Hartt lived a blessed life, he inherited a successful company (The one that makes those chalky hearts at Valentines Day) and had a beautiful, foreign girlfriend, Sleepza Rondahloht. He was often cited as the person most women wish were single.
He was happy, and a paragon of success until one fateful night, he returned home from his job to find his girlfriend in a foursome with two men and a large dog. He grabbed his two hunting revolves and gunned them all down. It was at this time that the gods (Except Miller) chose him to be the avatar of fidelity. "My girlfriend's a WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" he shouted. The next day he handed over his company to an old man who had been married for 52 years. "Don't cheat on her" he said to the man "Or you're next." After that there was no more James Hartt, only the dreaded HEARTBREAKER!
He has no known super human abilities.
He uses guns to shoot people and since he is constantly at war with the god of whores, Miller (who acts as his undefeatable archenemy), he's got a get out of jail free card for all the murders he commits so he can continue to actively serve as the avatar of fidelity.
- Now this is my comic all about how
- My heart got broke and made me frown
- And I'd like to tell a story, just wait right there
- I'll tell you why those cheating bastards haven't a prayer
- In /co/'s floating island born and raised
- Making chaulky hearts is how I spent most of my days
- Bein' rich, relaxin, not goin' to school.
- And datin' my girlfriend who I thought was cool
- But when I came home one night, right after work
- She was fuckin some guys with a big smirk
- I shot them all dead, and then I despaired
- Alan Moore said "No" And then he declared:
- "This guy is perfect" Alan stated to them
- "He could search out the cheaters whom he will then condemn"
- If anything you could tell that Miller was pissed.
- But he could only frown and make a fat fist.
- I stood up to my feet and looked around me
- And I was thinkin' about leavin' and going to flee
- I looked at the blood, walked out of the door
- That's why I'm Heartbreaker, MY GIRLFRIENDS A WHORE!