The /co/nservatory Wiki
INTERNET HATE MACHINE

INTERNET HATE MACHINE profile

The archenemies of The Justice /co/mrades lead by the evil INTERNET HATE MACHINE.

Members

As the name of the group implies, most members follow the same theme of being based on, or powered by things that should be saged. Personal lieutenants or subordinates are listed under their superiors.

Core Members

Members who are actually based off of sageworthy traits.

Asset Members

Members who were recruited because they have something to offer.

  • Doctor Science
  • Squid Pro Quo
  • Dueling Daisy
  • Bear Claw

    Bear Claw profile

    Bear Claw - Super strength and the ferocity of a bear, also healing factor. Gets very angry, a force to be reckoned with. He will eat anyone in his path. Claws are non-retractable and are made from indestructium. Origin and motives are unclear, he seems to live only to destroy the JC and cause destruction. He works for the Sageworthy Society as brute muscle.
  • Captain Nascar

Specialist Members

Members who joined/were recruited specifically to counter certain members of the Justice /co/mrades.

  • That Guy
  • Monical Girl
    Monocle Girl

    Monical Girl profile

    • Meta-Origins: Back in the 90s, Epic Comics was in a slump. The market was collapsing, forcing them to turn to foolproof, if pathetic marketing technique: add as much GRITTY, MANLY, and SEXY as possible. To afford the expensive 'talents' of Bob Ryefeld, they had to cut down on a few minor details, such as proofreading and good writing. This lead to a slip in the Barbaric Butler one-shot: Tea Time for Terror. The villain, who had been a minor villain of Doctor /Co/ccult since the original series in the 60s, was Monocle Girl. However, she was mistakenly called "Monical Girl." For years, she had been forgotten, left as nothing more than a piece of trivia. Recently, however, with the advent of online comic communities, she has developed a major fan following. Every few seasons, Epic now releases a "Monical Girl and the Sageworthy Society" comic. These are generally lighthearted, and poke fun at some of the tropes of comic book events.
    • Origins: Originally, Monocle Girl was a minor villain of Doctor /Co/ccult. Using the Master's Monocle, she could wield the powers of the Mind Master, a Golden Age villain that died off years before her birth, and happened to be her grandfather. By staring into the soul of a person, she could trap them in dimensions of swirling color, sending many into seizures. After the Ryefeld incident, however, the blatant misnaming had to be retconned. It was revealed in Doctor /co/ccult #27 that the original Monocle Girl was actually in her 60s, and had been using the Master's Monocle to hide her aging. In a final battle with the Doctor, she sends her soul into the Master's Monocle, allowing her to bring the visions it projects into the real world. Eventually, she is bested, and the magic power, in a burst of chaos, disappears. We are then shown it materializing in the hands of a young woman, two years in the past (putting it around the time of TTfT, who bears a strikingly similar appearance to Monocle Girl. She toys around with the Monocle, discovering that now has the power to give her 'visions' of the real world, letting her see anywhere. Her grandmother, Monocle Girl walks in and gasps at the sight of the Monocle, one of which she is also wearing. After a short discussion, she decides, in a blink of 'brilliance': "Well, my name is, like, Moni. And this this is, idk, Cali, right? I'll be... um... Monical Girl!" Her grandmother then slapped her, mumbled fine, and took her granddaughter off to learn all the manners she would need. Recently, 'Monical Girl' seems to have struck up a romance with the Barbaric Butler. How she will manage both villainy and a hero boyfriend has yet to be seen.
    • Powers: In addition to the Master's Monocle, which allows her to have visions of any place, she has two guns, enchanted to have unlimited ammo, but with a loss to the size, and power, of the bullets. For melee situations, she has two magic swords, which, while dull, feel like they are weightless.
  • Anti Rock Paper Scissors
  • Salty Motherfucker

Minions

The faceless hoards under the society's command.

  • Anons - Anonymous who have either willingly joined to cause misery to all or who have been press ganged into service.
  • Shitstorm Trooper
    Shitstorm-Trooper-final

    Basic Shitstorm Trooper

    - The Shitstorm Trooper is the basic fighting unit of the Sageworthy Society army. Numerous and expendable, they are fairly unskilled at shooting. Essentially a slightly upgraded anon. Sageworthy trait: People who are attracted to troll feedings.
  • Trolls/Supertrolls - Monsters specially designed for destruction, disruption, or general mayhem. They can either be created artificially from scratch or a reconditioned Anon. A well placed troll can be the difference between victory and defeat.