The /Co/smic Ones

1367379262765 — An unfinished sketch of some of the /co/smic ones (with older versions) and some other characters.

The /Co/smic Ones are a High Order of Supernatural beings that rule or have great sway over the Multiverse... or at least the greater ones do. Most are just perverts.

Many of them have at least one foot in the meta, if not being fully aware that they are in fact fictional characters and what forces shape their actions.

Greater Ones[]

The more powerful cosmic entities.

Belvraik[]

A cosmic anomaly, it appears as a massive jellyfish that drifts endlessly through space and time. Typically it preys upon planets and other stellar bodies; it has seemingly been doing so since near the beginning of time. There are few, if any, other cosmic beings that posses the sheer enormity of Belvraik, though the existence of it would suggest that other large space creatures must have existed at some point in time, or some place in all of the multiverse.

Many space faring races have myths and legends about it, but few have ever gazed upon its massiveness in person and lived to tell of it. It will occasionally ensnare a planet only to release it several light years from where it was caught or in a different place in time. It's diet is not limited to planets as it has been known to consume dimensional planes and even thoughts as well. It is unknown if it possesses any true intellect, but it is known that there is only one Belvraik in all of the multiverse, solidifying it as a /Co/smic One.

Miller[]

Miller is one of the /co/smic ones, and the God of Whores. As such, he has an army of whores at his disposal. Him and Quephisto were the only ones who opposed the decision to make Heartbreaker the Avatar of Fidelity, and as such Heartbreaker and Miller often fight. Heartbreaker has only been victorious in a What If issue.

Possibly going to be replaced with a cosmic editor of The Narrative who hates everyone in a revamp of the more parody centric /Co/smic Ones.

Quephisto[]

One of the /Co/smic Ones, Quephisto is the Chaos God of Retcons and a Ninth Level Master of Unexplained Magic.

It is known he can be evoked by offering up someone's marriage.

He is often found taking sides with the Sageworthy Society, though has offered to help heroes before, at a high price.

Possibly going to be replaced with a demon or parent of Elder gods or something in a revamp of the more parody centric /Co/smic Ones.

Skull King[]

An entity that has existed since the creation of the universe, yet chooses to walk amongst mortals as he finds them better company than most of the other /co/smic ones. He can grab onto any being's consciousness at the moment their life ends and perpetuate their existence in a limbo-like dimension if they are not poised to move onto a proper afterlife. Anyone in this limbo will be in his company until they decide to end their conversation with him and cease existing, or find another way to move on or be revived.

He is generally friendly, though feared for his appearance.

The Grey Guardian[]

Founder of the Grey Lantern Corps., he was kicked off of his home world for failing to show up to work and uphold his duties as a guardian. He decided to make his own corps., but then realized he couldn't be arsed to do that either which inadvertently created the necessary catalyst to form the Grey Lantern Power Battery. He is a god of not giving fucks and usually only attends meetings if someone drags him to one.

Although parody centric, he still holds a place here as the power of not-giving-a-fuck is not something that should be dismissed. It is said he knows of the legendary anti-fuck equation, but any inquires about it will be met with unyielding indifference.

The Archivist[]

1371004662106 — Trying her best to look the part

Though her power extends beyond the realm of the /Co/smic Ones, she still serves a function within the /co/verse which qualifies her as a Greater One: she facilitates crossovers.

Whenever a character from one setting needs to get to another setting, she sets up the continuity merger necessary to allow it to happen. When there's a time warp or dimensional shift, she makes sure the /co/verse doesn't collapse in on itself. She also safeguards every dead or forgotten plot line and sets them up in the spotlight whenever she feels like they might be able to make a come back, though that's more of what she does outside of her role here.

She is assisted by The /aco/lyte Wizard, who has knowledge of all dirty books in The Archives.

Lesser Ones[]

Lesser cosmic entities that still wield phenomenal power. Typically they have limiters in place or are subservient to a Greater One.

The Golden Attendant[]

The Golden Attendant is a being which lives upon Belvraik. He is immune to its consuming touch and has been a resident of its being for eons. His home planet was consumed by Belvraik, as well as countless parallel timeline and alternate universe versions of his home planet, yet each time this Golden Attendant survived and found himself upon the massive Belvraik. As the uncountable number of parallel and alternate versions of him converged in one place, he, or rather they, formed a hive mind and became aware of cosmic powers far greater than any mortal being would be capable of comprehending. He has since dedicated his existence to studying Belvraik, and attempting to transcend to a greater level of existance which would allow him full understanding of the creature.

It is called "Belvraik". In my language it means "The conclusion of a tale".

Page 10-tan[]

1407387098231 page 10 — The Thread Reaper

Also known as The Thread Reaper, an entity that only appears when an actual thread has both exceeded bump limit and is on page 10. He (or maybe she) is always seen wearing a hood that obscures his eyes, but does show that his face is painted to look like a skull. His jacket has a large visible zipper in the front that looks like a PG above the roman numeral X.

Despite being the go to anthropomorphic personification of Death in the /co/verse, he's in no way malevolent and only appears to those who are going to die with no way to get out of it (with the exception of intervention from a higher power). So as long as he hasn't shown up yet, there's still a chance of recovering or enough time to get at least one more thing accomplished. He's often seen smiling and doesn't lead people into oblivion or non-existence; he's the last stop before the archives (for threads) or whatever afterlife might be there (for characters).

He's a Lesser One since, despite being as meta as The Archivist, since he doesn't have anywhere near the power the other Greater Ones have. He only ever seems to show up when a story is ending, whether this is by choice or part of some greater obligation is unknown.

The /aco/lyte Wizard[]

Aco wizard — He's trying to look impressive

The /aco/lyte Wizard is pretty much a pervy wizard who likes to sleep around in his house and watch porn. He ascended to The /Co/smic Ones by being perverted enough to create universes, or maybe he's just perversion personified.

He is one of many of the order of /aco/lytes, or perhaps he is the only one, or maybe he is the leader of the order, or maybe it is none of these, or possibly all of these at the same time. What is known is he is an assistant to The Archivist and lords over the smut sections of The Archives, with anything perverse in them being within his jurisdiction. It is said he keeps the dirtiest content for himself, for if anyone without a /co/smicly aware cognitive capacity were to view it they would explode in several consecutive deadly orgasms. Though this could just be a rumor as no one has ever found this super smut collection, or at least no one who is still around to blab about it.

He has many hobbies, from watching over developing universes filled with perverted things, to sponsoring superheroes who catch his eye (one of which being his sister, but that's another story). He has been known to create life just to satisfy any passing kinks of his, with his favorites being ones that can change their shape to please him in the future when his tastes change.

His powers seem to be regulated by how horny he is or his ability to focus on one thing.

Whisper[]

Given the omnipotent nature of some /Co/smic Ones, Whisper is able to enter realms only accessible to them, thus earning recognition as a fellow /Co/smic One... albeit a lesser one.

An entity of pure psychic power fueled by the thoughts of anyone currently thinking of it, Whisper has the potential to rival the power of a Greater One but the number of people required to be thinking of him to manifest such abilities would be astronomical, far beyond what only one planet, or possibly even what one galaxy would be capable of providing.

Harold[]

A being born out of want, the living accumulation of desire; Harold is an entity that can find and obtain anything. He travels across time, space, the multiverse and other realities looking for things, all kinds of things. Although he has the power to bend space and time for instantaneous travel while looking for anything, anyone, or anywhere with ease, he prefers to make a journey out of it rather than take "shortcuts." Despite this, he is not particularly powerful, but makes up for that by having a lot of connections who owe him favors.

He only works for other /Co/smic Ones when they're actually able to get a hold of him, and even then his obligation to help them find what they are looking for is purely self-imposed. He likes to act in a grandfatherly way to mortals and has developed an obsession with food, to the point where some know him as The Menu Finder or Seeker of Flavors in his quest for the Universal Sauce.